Last New Year's, I saw a blog post about choosing a word to be a sort of theme for your year. I chose "Abundant." When I wrote that post, I had just found out that I was expecting Baby V and was feeling a tad overwhelmed. I knew we had a move coming up and a very busy 19 month old boy. This was exactly the word I needed for last year and I tried to apply it to life. It's so easy for "work at home" moms to get into the habit of "woe is me" type thinking. Because we are basically on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and we have to schedule around naptimes or hire a babysitter to be alone for five minutes (that includes a shower :); we can really get into a funk and take it out negatively on the people around us. To be able to stay at home with my babies is an incredible blessing, I know other mamas who would trade anything for that and I don't take it for granted. I don't want to just appreciate, as I said last year, I want to "revel in the blessings" that God has piled into my life.
One of my favorite moments of the day is around 6:30 am. V usually wakes up about 5:30, I cuddle him in bed with me and he will usually doze until P wakes up and runs to our room. He jumps into bed and I hold V on one side and P snuggles up on my other side. There is absolutely nothing like it. I know in my head that I am blessed with two sweet babies, but being physically smothered in blessing is something else. Sometimes I can't catch my breath because I'm so overwhelmed with the joy and responsibility and privilege of being their mama. I lay there and bask in the feeling of those two little bodies curled up around me--one wiry and strong and never still and the other soft, limp-limbed and heavy with sleep.
Then the sun comes up and I speak unkindly to my boy when he disobeys or I complain to my husband that I didn't have a moment of peace all day. At these moments my heart and words are so ungrateful. In thinking selfishly of myself, I lose an opportunity to cherish these crazy moments. It's not going to be long before my little guys aren't dumping 1 lb bags of sunflower seeds out on the kitchen floor or getting out of bed just for a hug from mama in the middle of the night. This year my word is going to be "cherish." I want to record and soak up and live in this busy, busy year. I'm going to sew projects that I don't really have time for because my baby asked for a cowboy fireman's hat. I'm going to stay up late after they go to bed and read "Growing Kids God's Way" because I want to be the best mama I can be and because I cherish their little hearts and souls just as much as their little bodies. I'm going to scrape crayon wax off the dining room table and paint off the floor. I'm going to do hundreds of loads of laundry and bury my nose in the smell of fresh, clean clothes on the bodies that I love so much. I'm going to try some messy new recipes and let my baby help me cook, even though it will mean some wasted ingredients and a little extra clean-up. I want to cherish his enthusiasm and curiosity.
This year I want to cherish my children and my husband, but my goal also is to cherish my relationship with the Lord. I'm going to spend more time in His precious word, the way He's chosen to reveal Himself to His people. I want to cherish the word and store it up in my heart so that in moments of stress or craziness, He is what pours out and not ugliness.
Cherish 2013: I'll let you know how it goes.
