Monday, July 8, 2013

Family "Rules"

Am I the only mama who struggles with discipline, with keeping things at the heart of the matter instead of appearances (outward behavior, my feelings when my kiddo misbehaves in public)?? As the years pass, I am more and more struck by the truth that I may have good hopes and plans for my children, but the only one that really matters...the essential that they know Jesus. Without Jesus, there is no worldly success, education,  or relationship that will make my children happy. 

So it follows that I've been convicted about discipline--I want it to always be about the heart of things. Not that I or my discipline have the power to change a heart, but the Holy Spirit does and that's why I'm also trying accompany discipline with prayer for a soft heart, tender conscience and the work of the Lord in my child's life. I'm also trying to thoughtfully direct my boy to scripture--Hebrews says it is "living and active, sharper than any two edged sword." I can talk and lecture all day, but the Word of God is powerful and full of grace. 

I started looking for a good chart so that my husband and I could discipline consistently and have something to point to with scripture at its foundation. I hated seeing things with "no pinching" or "don't hit" or "no whining." You do need to teach your children those things, but the issue isn't the hitting or pinching. It's a selfish heart that isn't loving or kind. Whining isn't the problem, it's discontentment or lack of patience. So I decided to make my own chart, it speaks to the heart and tells about what we are going to DO, not a laundry list of "don'ts." It's about (and I'm sure I'll have to add things or change things in the future) putting on the fruit of the spirit, developing character and discernment so that hopefully my child will be able to make good choices and not just follow rules. I even purposely left out the word "Rules" from this list. I think there's a thin line between RULES and LEGALISM, I want my baby to know that being a Christian means Christ is your most precious treasure and that the purpose of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. 

(You can click HERE for a link to the printable/downloadable PDF.) 

This Family Chooses to:

·     Love God and love each other
Deuteronomy 6:5, Galatians 5:14, 1 Cor.13:4-7

·     Listen and obey the first time
Deuteronomy 5:16, Proverbs 13:1, Philippians 2:14

·     Use KIND words in a kind voice, be respectful
Proverbs 15:1 and 16:24, Ephesians 4:29

·     Be considerate and have a servant’s heart
    {share cheerfully, look for opportunities to help, be attentive to
           the people around you, be compassionate, exercise self-control}
Galatians 5:13 and 22-23, Proverbs 3:27

·     Show GRACE to each other, be patient, overlook wrongs and be quick to forgive.
Colossians 3:12-14, 1 John 3:16-17,

·    Be grateful, content and choose JOY
Ephesians 5:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Phil 4:11

·      When you fail to be like Christ, don’t despair. By God’s grace, you wear Jesus’ spotless robe of righteousness. Repent and start again, praising God for his great mercy that makes a way for second chances.

“It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”  -Phil. 1:9-11

1 comment:

  1. Aw, you're such a good mom Chels! Maybe one day I'll need to use you're chart. Until then, think I could use it on a dog? ;)