Family "Rules"

Am I the only mama who struggles with discipline, with keeping things at the heart of the matter instead of appearances (outward behavior, my feelings when my kiddo misbehaves in public)?? As the years pass, I am more and more struck by the truth that I may have good hopes and plans for my children, but the only one that really matters...the essential thing...is that they know Jesus. Without Jesus, there is no worldly success, education,  or relationship that will make my children happy. 

So it follows that I've been convicted about discipline--I want it to always be about the heart of things. Not that I or my discipline have the power to change a heart, but the Holy Spirit does and that's why I'm also trying accompany discipline with prayer for a soft heart, tender conscience and the work of the Lord in my child's life. I'm also trying to thoughtfully direct my boy to scripture--Hebrews says it is "living and active, sharper than any two edged sword." I can talk and lecture all day, but the Word of God is powerful and full of grace. 

I started looking for a good chart so that my husband and I could discipline consistently and have something to point to with scripture at its foundation. I hated seeing things with "no pinching" or "don't hit" or "no whining." You do need to teach your children those things, but the issue isn't the hitting or pinching. It's a selfish heart that isn't loving or kind. Whining isn't the problem, it's discontentment or lack of patience. So I decided to make my own chart, it speaks to the heart and tells about what we are going to DO, not a laundry list of "don'ts." It's about (and I'm sure I'll have to add things or change things in the future) putting on the fruit of the spirit, developing character and discernment so that hopefully my child will be able to make good choices and not just follow rules. I even purposely left out the word "Rules" from this list. I think there's a thin line between RULES and LEGALISM, I want my baby to know that being a Christian means Christ is your most precious treasure and that the purpose of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. 

(You can click HERE for a link to the printable/downloadable PDF.) 

This Family Chooses to:

·     Love God and love each other

Deuteronomy 6:5, Galatians 5:14, 1 Cor.13:4-7

·     Listen and obey the first time

Deuteronomy 5:16, Proverbs 13:1, Philippians 2:14

·     Use KIND words in a kind voice, be respectful

Proverbs 15:1 and 16:24, Ephesians 4:29

·     Be considerate and have a servant’s heart

    {share cheerfully, look for opportunities to help, be attentive to

           the people around you, be compassionate, exercise self-control}

Galatians 5:13 and 22-23, Proverbs 3:27

·     Show GRACE to each other, be patient, overlook wrongs and be quick to forgive.

Colossians 3:12-14, 1 John 3:16-17,

·    Be grateful, content and choose JOY

Ephesians 5:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Phil 4:11

·      When you fail to be like Christ, don’t despair. By God’s grace, you wear Jesus’ spotless robe of righteousness. Repent and start again, praising God for his great mercy that makes a way for second chances.

“It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”  -Phil. 1:9-11

                                                                                                         ©StayingSteyn.blogspot.com

Think It Through Thursday: Remember and Proclaim

 Ps 66:16

“Come and hear, all you who fear God,

and I will tell what he has done for my soul.”

Have you ever had one of those experiences that you just can’t stop talking about, possibly to the point of embarrassment to yourself and the irritation of others? Maybe it was a once-in-a-lifetime vacation or something your child did, but more often than not it’s a miraculous event, an illness, a traumatic event, a joyful event, a loss—you just can’t stop mulling it over, mentioning it in conversation, re-telling the same stories or applying it to whatever situation is happening at the time.

I think this is how we were created, to re-live and remember formative experiences. We even remember creatively: taking pictures and videos, writing in journals, painting pictures, writing songs, building memorials, celebrating holidays and birthdays—all to capture or cherish or proclaim something specific in our lives. This kind of remembrance is Biblical. In the New Testament, Jesus and His disciples celebrated the last Passover, “He took bread and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.’”(Lk. 22) Communion is a picture of the cross, a visceral reminder of what happened there. We reflect on Christ’s sacrifice and value anew our salvation—it’s a reminder to give thanks and a means of grace so that we never forget to rejoice and proclaim our most miraculous story, giving God all the glory for it.

The Psalms are full of this remembering and proclaiming. Verse after verse tell of struggling people plucked out of the ‘miry clay,’ hidden from enemies, saved, protected, healed, blessed—and the Psalmist does not stay silent! He declares what God has done so that others will know, marvel at his grace and turn to him in praise and thanksgiving.

Many of us have been through something really hard and have already seen how the Lord’s hand sheltered us through it. Don’t stay silent! Write about it, sing about it and tell everyone you know (and don’t know) so that God’s “saving power may be known on earth.” Be unembarrassed as you keep telling your story! My baby boy will be three in June, but I cannot get over the miracle that God accomplished during a frightening pregnancy, with a tiny baby who thrived. I’m not supposed to get over it. It causes me to bend heart and knees and bless the Lord. I keep telling my story to people who have already heard, but it’s always on my mind and heart and that’s the way God intended it. His people lean on Him and say, “Come and hear, […] I will tell you what he has done for my soul!”

Others are living through terrible things right at this moment and cannot yet see the end or the reasons—the reasons may never be clear in this life, but grace is always there. We can trust in the hard times because our God is unchanging. Meditate on what he has already done: it’s recorded in scripture, in the lives around you and in your own life.

All of us have a story, a stunning story of grace—a heart of stone miraculously turned to a heart of flesh, a spirit-given yearning for the love of the Father, a slave set free, a precious Lamb who gave himself up to judgment, a risen Savior, and the promise of a world redeemed. All glory to God! We have a reason to give thanks at all times and in all circumstances. Instead of despair, we can trust that the God who has been faithful will remain faithful. The one who is pursuing our souls for salvation and for His glory will never abandon us in our fear, our weakness, our sadness, sickness, brokenness, loneliness, or anger. In remembering, there is trust and grace and praise.

Father,

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

That my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” Amen

(Ps. 30:11-12)

Dreams

Do you remember being a senior in high school? Or maybe a college student and having all these wild dreams? I don't know about you but a lot of mine had something to do with success...fame and fortune...American Idol...

Then the semesters start flying by and you finish college with a degree that's a little more practical than maybe what you had in mind. 

Your life includes somebody else now and you have new plans together, a few years later and maybe a chubby baby. 

The days keep flying by and you can't even remember that person who wanted those things you thought you wanted--things that didn't involve potty training or sewing stuffed robots. Life is so much richer and more full than you imagined it would be. There are hard days of course, but those are the ones that make grace all the more obvious by contrast.  

A pastor said yesterday, "The greatest gift Jesus can give you is to tear away all the dreams you have for yourself...then He overwhelms you with His grace." You are left standing with empty hands so that He can fill them, not your inflated ego or talent or career or money or carefully laid plans...because a life with Him at the center is the only one that can fill...and not just sometimes. 

His dreams for you are always best.